OMG! Here we are…I knew this was going to happen! Well, my lettuce feeder, that we, me and Frida my wife from hell, call her the blonde guinea ball, is crazy so I think I once heard her on the phone saying she would make me a magazine celebrity. Beauty my friends! Being irresistible is a curse! Look at me!
So… let me introduce myself! I am Elvis due to the hair probably and my rock attitude. They call me “the chubby” all the time and i have to live in a cell with Frida my wife that hates my guts and does everything in her power to piss me off along with three huge beings that are now stuck at home with us all the time.
Apparently,I have nowhere to turn to! I am stuck with them forever. What on Earth is happening in this world…?
Well…the big blonde one is always on her laptop, or phone and she never stays at one place. She likes to play video games just like the whole family. My favourite time is when she reads books. She keeps me next to her and when the phone rings I chew the pages! She doesn’t like it…but I AM ELVIS!I do whatever I please now that the dog…has left the building and this world! I am her comfort! Frida…is a pig…she could never understand her like I do.
By the way…why do they call us guinea pigs? We are not from Guinea and we are certainly no pigs!
Well, this is my diary!
I’ll tell you more stories about my life when I feel a little better. I just had a haircut! I hate it when the blonde ball does this to me.